Tom 's Corner: "Jonah Hex"

Jonah Hex
(2010, Jimmy Heyward, dir)

Well, we've come to question time again people. Today's question: Why look at a property, be it a movie, a book or a comic series, and say, 'This would make a great movie' only to change it completely? I am a longtime fan of Jonah Hex. I daresay I've read nearly every appearance of the character. Over nearly 40 years (and every one of those years shows in Jonah's face), the character has appeared in quite a few comics, and not one of those changed his origins and abilities. Why did the movie? Well, sirs and madams, that is what we are here to answer.

First, a little history lesson. Jonah's early years (comic history wise) are recounted here. Way too much about Hex can be found here as well. Ok, did everyone read all that? Good, high marks for you! Now, onward.

Josh Brolin played the title character, and did a fairly decent job of it, I will admit. I enjoyed his take on Jonah's trademark sense of humor, but we didn't see nearly enough of his drinking and whoring, which is sort of a trademark of the character (also, the movie was PG-13, which I consider a bit of a mistake, as any movie about a fairly ruthless bounty hunter should be R). Speaking of whores, we get Tallulah “Lilah” Black played by Megan Fox. If you've read my review of “Jennifer's Body,” you know my feelings about Megan Fox and will not need elaboration. I'll be honest, she seems to be improving a bit as an actress, though her entire character is fairly unnecessary. She is used to get Hex into and out of problems that wouldn't have arisen if she wasn't there in the first place. An old favorite of mine, Will Arnett, appears playing dashing Union officer Lieutenant Grass. Arnett nails the part, and since I had only seen him in comedic roles, I was impressed. The two main villains of the piece are Quentin Turnbull (played by John Malkovich) and Burke (played by the always welcome Michael Fassbender). Burke was created for the movie, and at times Fassbender steals the show with his over-the-top performance as the mad Irishman. Turnbull is another matter....

It seems the script writers took another popular Hex villain, El Papgayo, the Mexican bandito and gang leader, and crossed him into Turnbull. In the comics, Turnbull is a vengeful man, who in fact did lose his son, Jeb (though comic Hex did not shoot him, it was a much longer and better told story), but was a Southern gentleman, even as he was trying to have Hex killed. Basically, they made El Papagayo white, stripped away his interesting affectations (his parrot, his criminally stereotypical Mexican accent) and used Turnbull's name to tie him into the American Civil War. Malkovich does what he can with the script, but really, he's not given enough to do.

But now back to Tallulah Black. This is the real origin of the character. She's almost a female version of Hex with her facial scarring and anger towards the world (the two in fact briefly become lovers in the comic). Again, it feels like the writers took a complex and well written character and boiled her down to a two dimensional cardboard cut-out.

Another problem: Jonah's supernatural powers come completely out of left field. And are ridiculous. Part of the appeal of Hex is that, due to his childhood, he is a hard man and an expert tracker and fighter. He has no need of special abilities, he's a man who could be stripped, beaten and left for dead and survive. The powers seem to be in place to expedite Hex's quest against Turnbull.

This brings up another point. The comic Hex has no love for Quentin Turnbull, but out of respect for the friendship he had with the man's son, as well as his feelings that Turnbull is a third father to him (long story, an unnamed apache chief...not the one from Superfriends...was his second), he tried to stay away from him. The comic Turnbull, a true Southern gentleman, sends men after Hex, but rarely lifts a finger to confront him directly.

I will admit, the idea of a “nation killer” weapon of mass destruction existing during the Reconstruction era is intriguing. This was a great plot point, though not expanded on enough. What exactly powers those explosive orange orbs?

Also, this film is plagued with the overuse of flashback. The scenes where Jonah's family is killed are shown at least three times, when once was enough. Also, Jonah's crazy death dream did NOT have to be revisited.

One last thing: President Ulysses S. Grant (played by Aidan Quinn under all that beard), our nation's most frequently inebriated leader was not even pictured with a drink. What's up with that?

I can understand some of the plot changes. Hex does have, as I stated, a nearly 40 year history. It would take a mad genius to make all of it work. But a far better effort than this could have been made. Avoid this one, and read a Jonah Hex comic instead. Or listen to this:

The Origin of Jonah Hex: An E^n Motion Comic from Ulysses F. Mahler on Vimeo.

- Tom