Tom's Corner:
A Special Announcement!
As many of you know, 1 Way or Another is soon going to become a hardcore pornography production company. So, in an effort to “keep up with the Johnsons” as it were, this review blog will change accordingly.
"The Paris Hilton Sex Tape"
Dir: Rick Salomon
Executive Producer: Paris Hilton
Today, we review one of the most famous videos featuring a popular celebrity. Ranked number one in America's Best Known Moron (female division), Paris Hilton filmed some sex with then boyfriend Rick Salomon. In 2004, Rick, ever the eager beaver (eater) decided to make some quick cash. He called up Red Light District Video (fitting, since Paris is kind of a whore), and after they negotiated some rights (I imagine it was much like a drug deal in a back alley), Paris Hilton's only “skills” were revealed to the world.
Wow, does Paris suck...badly. I was falling asleep during most of this. Rick does intros to scenes, and was not provided with a script. I think he was just told to “act dumb (though I'm not sure he was acting)” and keep it under a minute.
Anyway, the lack of action makes me want to coin a new term: lacktion. I recommend this video only to people who have some twisted desire to see Paris Hilton fail at yet another thing: getting you off.
All in all, I can sum this up in one sentence:
APRIL FOOLS, SUCKERS!
- Tom Trombley
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